Recently I have been very open and transparent about the frustration I have been feeling. To be clear … this is not an expression of unhappiness or a feeling of thinking things are terrible. It is not a lack of peace or assurance, not a sign of depression or confusion – simply an expression of how I see the world (especially the church) standing by while our freedoms and liberties are being stolen out from under us. Stolen because we have “que sera sera” thinking – whatever will be, will be! That is completely and totally against every fabric of my being to think that I cannot and should not do something to make a difference! Posting memes or memories, food, or cats and dogs on Facebook doesn’t cut it for me! Saying one thing and living another is not who I am. I am a very black and white person! There is not a lot of grey area in me. If I believe something, I believe it with every fiber of my being and I’m not afraid to”go for it”. That’s great news when my thinking is correct, but very bad when I’m off track! (I’m laughing – I hope you are too as you see my illustration)!
I realized that my frustration was coming in the form of my resistance to writing about the things the Holy Spirit was impressing upon my heart! I wasn’t doing it thinking that I was resisting. I was concerned that my voice was getting too loud, too strong, too emphatic, too critical, and not expressing the burning love in my heart for God’s people and His Church to awaken!
This week while talking to a very long time friend, a switch flipped and the light went on inside of me! (Thank you, Denise – I love you). I realized that my frustration was coming in the form of my resistance to writing about the things the Holy Spirit was impressing upon my heart! I wasn’t doing it thinking that I was resisting. I was concerned that my voice was getting too loud, too strong, too emphatic, too critical, and not expressing the burning love in my heart for God’s people and His Church to awaken! The moment I hung up the phone, I opened my laptop and let my fingers begin to fly across the keyboard. As I wrote, I began to realize that somehow the Holy Spirit had hijacked my car and was taking me down a road I was uncomfortable with. A road filled with a lot of potholes, land mines, possible detours, and cliffs! I decided I would take the journey and be used for His purpose in saying things way outside of my comfort zone – no matter what! Remember that I am an “all in girl” – hahaha! I also realized that my concern or fear of people thinking I’m crazy, a nut job, a fanatic, or whatever was holding me in a position of frustration!
I put on my “pink boxing gloves” (hard subjects with a light touch), rolled up my sleeves and let the keyboard rip! As I did, I began to understand that these new subjects of passion and fire were releasing me into a place of elation, elevation, excitement, fresh fire, and determination to be the voice God has called me to be in this momentous hour. Wowee! Here we go on a journey down the rabbit hole! Ready or not … I’m taking the plunge, so get ready to keep reading me or not! I’m doing my absolute best to be obedient to what the Lord is speaking and impressing within me. As the prophet, Jeremiah said, the fire that has been shut up in my bones is being released with passion and fury! Somehow I have stepped into a new realm of “this moment in time in the life of Laura according to the Holy Spirit”.
My prayer is that somehow it will also release in you whatever arenas, agendas, subjects, or places He is calling you into. I will close with an excerpt from a prophetic word sent to me today by Lana Vawser. It made my heart sing because those who know me know that I’ve been saying, “I feel this oppressive frustration” that I cannot shake”! The very sentence I uttered to my friend, Denise who encouraged me to just write about it and somehow that simple phrase flipped the light switch into this new adventure! This one’s for you, Denise:
“The Lord has had me release this prophetic word to encourage the people of God, to not stay in the comfortable or familiar seat because of fear of what others will think, free of offending people, fear of the new. The truth is, the tables that the Lord has set before His people in this new era are more glorious than ever before and the Lord showed me that many are feeling a “heavy oppressive frustration” right now and the ‘ease’ that once was, is no longer, and that is because it’s time to change tables. It’s time to take your seat at a new table. Don’t apologize for changing tables and don’t make excuses for having to change tables.” The excerpt is taken from a prophetic message by Lana Vawser!
