When We Run Out of Rules & Into Relationship!
heart shaped cloud in cloudy sky and sunbeam.

When We Run Out of Rules & Into Relationship!

Today (Jan 13, 2022), I am speaking to your INNER MAN … NOT to your intellect, for the things of the Spirit of God are foolishness to the natural man, but oh … what life and joy when our spirit man grabs ahold of the revelatory mysteries of our God!!! Paul said it this way in Colossians 1:26-27: “There is a divine mystery — a secret surprise that has been concealed from the world for generations, but now it’s being revealed, unfolded, and manifested for every holy believer to experience. Living within you is the Christ who floods you with the expectation of glory! This mystery of Christ, embedded within us, becomes a heavenly treasure chest of hope filled with the riches of glory for his people, and God wants everyone to know it!”

Let’s take a deep dive together into the heart of our Savior, into the heart of our Father, and into the heart of the Spirit who knows all things of the Godhead and is sent to live inside of us in order to reveal Christ and ALL THINGS GOD by way of the mysterious and supernatural – where He abides deep within us!

My understanding of God changed dramatically during the time when He was A-L-L that I had! I had been an “on fire” Christian from the day I gave my life to Jesus! With all my might I served, loved, and followed Him … to the best of my understanding of how to serve & love him! In my heart desperation (after Ron died), I found myself examining what I said I believed. “Jesus, I believe You are the Healer, but why don’t we see healing?” Of course, every now and then we have seen (or do see), and somehow that satisfies us because we tend to suppress our questions and call it faith! Why don’t we walk in the things we say we believe about you? We can say things like, “I guess we will know when we get to heaven” or some other religious mantra that makes it somehow not God’s failure to us, but the problem is that we never consider deeply that it just might be our ‘failure’ or lack of understanding, by the ways our paradigm of Him have been fashioned! After all, we are good Christians, we believe the bible, we go to church, we worship, we quote scripture, declare, decree, and confess all the goodness of our God! BUT, WHY THEN? Why don’t we walk in the things we say we believe Him to be? Every denomination or expression of “Church” teaches us to view Him from different angles. Within that view or filter, we believe we are right and others just don’t “get it”! Somehow we are so convinced that our way is the right way that we can overlook the parts that don’t add up to THE GOD OF THE BIBLE! We say things like, “Why don’t we see the things they did in the Book of Acts”, but we make the statement and leave it alone because we have decided that our version of the Bible is the right one – we keep Him on the surface level. Yet, He is GOD and there is SO MUCH MORE OF HIM that we haven’t yet had revealed or unveiled in us! How about we stir up our hunger and let thirst become real so He can lead us places we haven’t yet been? YES! Let’s do it!

As I questioned the reality of my faith, I never mistrusted the Lord or my salvation, but simply why my beliefs and realities seemed to be so different. I know that’s a paradox, but I just knew there was something not complete, or right with the ways I had “learned my Christian faith”. I knew that I could no longer go on saying that I believe Jesus is the healer, and yet so rarely see anyone healed, and discount it as, “well, God is in control”, or “Only God knows why”, or “they are healed because they are in heaven”! This simply was no longer good enough for me. I didn’t know how to find the answers to my questions, and quite frankly, I was so spent spiritually, emotionally, and physically from the battle, that all I could do was yield my trust to Him in the midst of all my questions, emotions, tears, and fears about what I would do next. I knew He was my answer, my help, and provider, but I honestly had no idea what that really looked like. I had never been to this place before! In my desperation, I simply yielded like a lump of clay or a melted puddle. I didn’t have the strength to pray or to do all the good Christian things I knew to do, and even if I had had the strength … I didn’t have the belief that it would produce any better than it had up to this point … that being the bearing of a little fruit consistently along the way, although mingled amongst many disappointments. I had never allowed myself to actually see them as disappointments before though. I simply accepted them and moved forward, which is exactly what our enemy has designed in his scheme to steal, kill, and destroy from us! I thought I knew Him, but boy was I in for a surprise!

One night as I was at a church, in worship, the Holy Spirit whispered these words to me: “Laura, I am about to move and change your life. Don’t act too quickly, because it’s going to look different than you think. Just know that I am about to move and change your life!” Oh, how He knows me …. “don’t act too quickly” – hahaha!!! I’m so thankful that He spoke even down to the character and nature of the way I am wired so that I would not decide what this new move looked like and charge off in the direction of making it happen!!! Boy, did it ever look different than anything I could have possibly imagined! It was so “out of my Christian box” that I actually had no idea what was happening IN ME! I knew it was God, and my internal life was changing by leaps and bounds – in the flash of an eye – but, my mind was having trouble wrapping any understanding around the supernatural move of God that was taking place!

I called it “The Plinko Machine”! There was a game on the old Price is Right show where someone stood at the top of a clear channel maze and dropped balls down through the chambers to see which prize they would win! That was the best way I could describe what was taking place INSIDE OF ME! These things DID NOT come through my mind, intellect, or understanding … THEY CAME UP OUT OF MY SPIRIT AS IF A LIGHT SWITCH WAS FLIPPED ON! Heavenly downloads were dropping into my spirit like those Plinko balls. I was waiting to see where they were going to land! Night after night I was awakened with word pictures, poems, psalms, allegories, scenes to plays, directions, and the most magical of things flowing up out of my inner being! As each one happened, I simply knew things I hadn’t known before! These amazing encounters in the night would lead me to pray, worship, read, and meditate on them during the day as I marveled at this incredible “thing” happening inside of me! My relationship with the God-head started coming alive in vivid technicolor. All of these encounters were HIM teaching me, shifting me, realigning me, and unveiling the truth that was always there “under wraps”! I wasn’t asking for this, as I had no concept that it was even possible – it was simply God moving in my life in response to my deep heart cry. Day after day and night after night, He began to UNVEIL HIMSELF and REVEAL HIMSELF in realities beyond my “Christian grid” that were indeed changing my life, just as He had said!

Each member of the God-head revealed (introduced) Himself to me! I didn’t realize this until we were well into the process! WOWEE! This SUPERNATURAL GOD was coming ALIVE IN ME! I wasn’t reading the word and deciding to act upon it! I wasn’t confessing to myself that I have the mind of Christ, or any other formula I had previously believed. No! I was experiencing these supernatural encounters with Him that produced immediate fruit as my spirit was awakened in new ways! He would take me to the word to show me what was happening and open up the deeper meaning of what was being communicated! The scripture came alive at deeper levels as suddenly, “I got it”! It was glorious as He brought me to this ever-present place of UNION, where I walk with Him, talk with Him, and LIVE WITH HIM from the place of my innermost parts! He is in there and has taught me how to become ONE with Him – never again looking for an external God to come down, upon, bring help, etc. Instead, I have learned how to “find the One I adore by following Him down into the place within where I was given new birth — into my innermost parts, the place of my covering.” (Song of Songs 3:4).

I love this part of the Introduction to the Book of Proverbs in the Passion Translation Bible: “The revelation unfolds an encounter — an experience of knowing God as he is revealed through the mysterious vocabulary of riddle, proverb, and parable.” Awww – what refreshing, revelation, wisdom, knowledge, and strength comes into our inner being as we commune with the Living God – deep within our innermost parts! It satisfies in ways that looking externally for Him will never produce because it flows up and out of us bringing with it fresh, new life, as it floods our beings. It is strength to our bones, joy for our sorrows, beauty from the ashes, an ever-present help, rivers of living water flowing from our inner man, and everywhere these rivers flow, there is life!

He set me FREE! He revealed the Spirit of Adoption in an ALIVE, REAL, VIBRATING, LIFE-CHANGING WAY! Previously, I had known it in my mind, but NOW … Oh now … I KNEW HIM! I wasn’t asking Him about this as I didn’t know to or have any thoughts in my mind about it. He simply did the work by releasing the “lightbulb revelation” inside of me! The Father did a work in me that released such a child-like faith, trust, confidence, joy, and security that I no longer needed the approval of man, the accolades of success, the desire to win or compete, or anything else that had before been the position from which I lived (without even knowing it). The freedom, the intimacy, the union, the “Him in me and me in Him” became so REAL! I was no longer living my Christian life out of the space between my two ears looking for an external God to answer me, bless me, help me, refresh me, or act on my behalf! He began to talk to me about “doctrines of demons” that I believed and with a “flip of a switch”, I simply chose to believe HIS WAY instead of my way (or the ways that had been modeled before me or taught me). I learned that humbling myself under His mighty hand looked very different from what I thought. It meant that I was willing to lay down my Christian teachings, paradigms, or pictures and accept the truths He was revealing to me – even though they brought me face-to-face with the places where I was “off” in my understanding. I even had to accept that out of our good intentions, but wrong perceptions, and “good Christian beliefs”, we had lost the battle for Ron’s life! It would have been so easy to protect myself and reject His way so I didn’t have to take any responsibility or admit the truth in the scripture that says: “My people perish for lack of knowledge”!

By his divine revelation, he broke open
    the hidden fountains of the deep,
    bringing secret springs to the surface
    as the mist of the night dripped down from heaven.
Proverbs 3:21 TPT

Hallelujah! The hidden fountains of the deep WITHIN ME bringing forth secret springs! And the mist of the night dripped from heaven upon my soul as it was drawn up out of my spirit by the Holy Spirit, Himself during the night hours! What a marvelous teacher (revealer) He is! I learned that it is not by my own efforts, formulas, rituals, right words, prayers, or striving, but instead … it is all to do with the true yearning and yielding of our hearts seeking after Him! At the heart level, I knew that He was ALL I had and if He didn’t help me, I would not come out of the Valley of the Shadow of Death! I would not have any idea what to do, or where to go! I was heartsick and it caused me to yield myself in ways that ultimately brought NEW LIFE!

Will we press beyond the shepherd’s stand in search of the ONE that we love? Are we willing to go beyond our own traditions, beliefs, church groups, and Christian formulas in order to discover the beauty of this marvelous, mysterious, magical, glorious One who loves us? I know those words bother us as Christians because we have been taught that they are “new age”; however there is nothing that is “new age” that did not come from the Ancient of Days! The enemy has no creative power, no imaginative thoughts, or power of his own. He only has the ability to take what he knows about God – to hijack and manipulate it, so that it can be used to steer God’s people away from true power, true connection, true relationship with Him! The enemy of our soul takes what belongs to God, twists it, and teaches us that it belongs to him so we’d better fear it and steer clear of it! Seriously, if we read the stories in the Bible and don’t choose to filter or “christian-ize” them … we will see mysterious, supernatural, magical, incredible things happening as man interacts with God! Glory to God, I want the REAL DEAL!

Do you see how supernatural power and the mysterious realms have been taken away from God’s people by way of “doctrines of demons”? I saw it because the Lord exposed it simply by shining the light of truth as He broke open the mysteries of heaven that were buried deep within my spirit! In my (our) spirit lays all the fullness of the Godhead! It’s so crazy amazing, and life-giving that it can only be God! He set me free in the most marvelous and mysterious of ways (encounters)! I know, I know … I can hear many saying, “you’d better be careful as you wade out into the spiritual waters”! Yes, that’s true, but we have THE WORD and THE SPIRIT to lead us into ALL TRUTH!!! When fruit is growing by leaps and bounds, we’re getting set free, we are more in love with our God (Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit) than ever before, when truth turns on the light and brings us into the inheritance of our sonship … these are the mysterious workings of a supernatural God! The same supernatural God that we say we are believing for AWAKENING, REVIVAL, and HARVEST! It is not by might, nor by power, but BY MY SPIRIT, SAYS THE LORD! The supernatural revelations (revealings) of God is how these things happen! We are those being awakened, revived, and led forth as harvesters in the great move of God sweeping the earth! Yes, we are being awakened politically, medically, and in many other ways, but if these are the only awakenings, we are missing THE VERY BEST! I prophesy to our inner man, “Awake, oh you sleeper! Awake, Awake! Come alive in your inner man by the Spirit of the Living God”! As we are awakened by His love, and to His love … we are changed … in the twinkling of an eye! When we “know that we know that we know that we know what we hadn’t known before” … in our INNER PARTS … we are changed! We don’t “change” … we simply and effortlessly ARE changed as we choose to believe!

I’m going to ask you a very serious question because it was used to change my life: “Does your current version of WHO GOD IS line up with the way you live your life? The way you function in your church, and the way you see the LIFE OF CHRIST in others around you?” I’m not talking about doctrine, beliefs, or “knowing the bible verses”, I’m talking about THE REALITY OF YOUR MOMENT-TO-MOMENT CHRISTIAN PARADIGM AND RESULTS! The abiding love, joy, and peace that guards us and keeps us … no matter what! I’m asking about the results we see consistently lining up with the God we say we believe. For me, I knew that it did not add up, but I had no idea how this question was actually going to be used to change my life because I didn’t really even know what the question or disconnect was!

Recently the Lord spoke to me about MY MANDATE! I hadn’t even thought about a mandate! This is what He said to me: “Laura, your mandate is to lead others on a journey deep into the heart of God!” Wow, Lord – that’s exactly what you led me to name this blog! I really had no idea what I was doing when he led me to do this almost two years ago! I only knew (know) that this journey He has, and continues, to take me on DEEP INTO HIS HEART has changed me in the same way you turn an item of clothing from the inside out! You take it from living life backward and with some adjustments, manipulations, and pressure … you set it free to function the way it is designed to function … from the INSIDE OUT, not the outside in! It’s the making of a NEW WINE SKIN! Suddenly I see why I seem to always sound like I’m “on a soapbox”, saying, “Come on, come on, let’s go deeper, let’s know Him more fully, let’s let Him come alive on the inside of us”! I’m saying the same thing in different ways, waving it over God’s people as a Banner of Love, calling out to the Bride to awaken and get to know the Bridegroom! It’s because I’m called “to call the Bride”! I say as Jesus did to the original disciples, “Come, follow me on a journey and I will make you fishers of men”! Let’s follow Jesus and call others to follow Him, too! Let’s follow Him in a way that causes every fiber of our being, and every cell in our bodies to vibrate with the frequency of Heaven! No longer looking to an external Jesus to come and rescue us, answer our prayer, help us, rapture us out, or save us! Let’s come into UNION with Him and flow together as the equal partner of the Son of God (remember He will not be unequally yoked)! I could just quote the entire Book of Colossians here, but I will conclude with this, as I encourage you to drink in Colossians and allow the mysteries of God to bathe your heart:

Christ is our message! We preach to awaken hearts and bring every person into the full understanding of truth. It has become my inspiration and passion in ministry to labor with a tireless intensity, with his power flowing through me, to present to every believer the REVELATION of being his perfect one in Jesus Christ.” Colossians 1:28-29

One last thing as a “disclaimer/release” … Your journey quite likely will look different than mine, as you are different than I am. God is a personal and very intimate God. He made us, created us, formed us, fashioned us, and He knows how to speak our language. He chooses the best ways to reveal Himself so that we might grasp them and allow them to change us at the heart level. Experiences are one thing, but many times do not change us beyond the moment, but this DEEP INNER JOURNEY will indeed change us for a lifetime! The orphan mentality can rise up and cause us to desire the same experience, or way that God has chosen to interact with another. Remember that He loves you deeply, He knows you, and He knows how to speak and interact with you. My desire is that my story and “the banner of love” I have to sing over God’s sons and daughters, simply awakens a new desire in you to JOURNEY DEEPER INTO HIS HEART! To reach a place where we lose our minds and discover our heart (inner man) in relationship to the ONE who lives IN US! May The Spirit of Wisdom, The Spirit of Revelation, and the Spirit of Understanding UNVEIL THE GODHEAD in YOU! If He did it for me, He will do it for YOU! He desires to UNVEIL HIMSELF in all of his sons and daughters until we become the MATURE sons and daughters that all creation is yearning for!

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